


Distracted Dancing

by Tsushi



Category: Lupin III
Genre: F/M, Lupin in a dress, M/M, Possessive Behavior, dancing and jealousy, for fun and disguise, luzeni, secret secondary ship ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 18:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30042864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsushi/pseuds/Tsushi
Summary: Lupin is in disguise at a party awaiting the chance to steal a fancy car, and of course Inspector Zenigata is there to try to stop him.But the host takes a liking to Zenigata and he's too busy to even notice Lupin lurking among the guests. How will Lupin handle not being the center of his attention? Predictably poorly...
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Mine Fujiko, Arsène Lupin III/Zenigata Kouichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	Distracted Dancing

Lupin was at home in any disguise, and a breezy blue gown was always a fun change of pace from the suit. The long curly wig was a bit heavy, but it went well with both the dress and his eyes. Zenigata was more hesitant to harass random women than random men at a swanky party like this, so for tonight, it was an ideal disguise. 

Plus he was hot as fuck. Why not turn a few heads?

He strutted his stuff, but his eyes were on the prize tonight, and he had to thank the host for putting the loot in the middle of a crowded ballroom. On a wide pedestal was the most luxurious sports car he’d ever seen. It made the whole thing impressive and guaranteed him at least a few incredible cellphone videos that were sure to have an amazing comment section. Always a delight to have the spectacle built-in on a heist.

And they’d all get a chance at a video. His calling card said he would be relieving the host of the party of that very fancy car at 9:30, so he had to mingle for at least another hour. Lupin looked fine, but the car was the evening’s real beauty: custom technology, smooth as butter on acceleration and crash proof, to boot. He’d sell it, of course, but couldn’t wait to feel how it handled in the inevitable, upcoming car chase. He was looking forward to leaving some cop cars in the dust.

Speaking of chases, Lupin shifted his position, and glanced over at his once and future pursuer. Inspector Zenigata was fumbling slowly about the room. He had, for once, been coerced into a nicer suit. Supposedly, it was to ensure that he didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. But his height still made him easy to spot. Very kind of Zenigata to make things easier for him.

Zenigata was being unusually lax, compared to his usual routine. He wasn’t stupid, but he was blunt, and focused on a single goal: capturing Lupin. When he was on Lupin patrol he was wound up as tight as a yo-yo, running around, stabbing cakes, grabbing people’s bags, climbing around on the rooftop. He didn’t care who’s nerves he got on in the process, enough to make any host resent him long before Lupin started his antics. It only served to give Lupin leeway, because an annoyed host was unlikely to give in to Zenigata’s requests. They’d nix demands to fingerprint every guest or search all of the closets, chalking it all up to paranoia, and losing the sorts of security that really stood a chance of hindering Lupin.

Zenigata was at his most dangerous when surrounded by people who were willing to follow his instructions. Lupin had to be cautious when faced with that strong collaboration. But thankfully most rich snobs Lupin stole from absolutely hated being told what to do by some lowly cop.

But tonight it seemed like the host, a guy called Scott Stone, was hanging on Zenigata’s every word. Zenigata always thought he was much funnier than he actually was, but the guy sure seemed to be laughing like the detective was a late night comedian. Lupin huffed.

It took a fair bit of coercion to get Zenigata to loosen up, Lupin knew that from experience. But Stone really seemed to have a knack for it. The weight and tension in Zenigata’s always-furrowed brow was ebbing. Stone offered his well-manicured hand to Zenigata’s big, hairy one, gesturing toward the dance floor. The last bit of wariness was flickering, an unmasked hopefulness was beginning to show in Zenigata’s wide, guileless eyes.

Lupin scowled. His eyes followed Stone as he pushed his pampered, overpriced suit against Zenigata’s chest. As they danced, a self-conscious smile blossomed on Zenigata’s face, and his hesitant fingers pressed Stone’s back with growing confidence. 

_Guess it just takes a grown up trust fund brat who humors you and has a nice haircut to distract you._

Lupin’s lip curled. He’d have to keep that in mind.

“No one is going to want to dance with you if you make a face like that. You should smile, sweetheart.”

Oh great, just what Lupin needed right now. Another puffed-up pretty boy, this one zeroed in on Lupin. His eyes raked Lupin up and down, taking a quick read of his dress, heels, chest and ass. It all seemed up to snuff, as the gaze was completed with a demeaning, approving little nod.

Lupin wanted to give the pretty boy a roaming, invasive stare of his own, but knew from experience that it didn’t work. If a lady looked at him that closely, the attention would send him into the stratosphere. And usually, Lupin would have accepted the come-on as a compliment, perhaps even an opportunity.

But his eyes kept flicking back over to the inspector across the room, who was dancing with more gusto than Lupin had expected. Why wasn’t he clumsily stumbling and stamping all over Stone’s feet? But Lupin’s face was hot as he recalled a caper from long ago, that Zenigata loved dancing, that there was a romantic not-too-deep down in him, that when he danced, Zenigata showed the same boisterous passion that he did during the chas-

The pretty boy stepped into Lupin’s line of sight, blocking his view of Zenigata. “You should dance with me, it’ll cheer you up.”

Lupin was forced to stop and spare the barest of glances. The suit he was wearing had a flashy, or perhaps just less than fashionable, silver and black argyle patterned silk vest underneath, and his hair had some tacky highlights. Ugh. Clearly, it would take some of the patented Lupin wit and charm to handle this slimeball.

“Oh,” He responded, barely remembering to keep his voice in character, “fuck off.”

This only broadened the pretty boy’s smirk, as though rejection was simply part of his little game. Lupin held back his gag and eye roll. But over the pretty boy’s shoulder, Zenigata was dipping Stone, not even noticing how close their faces were. The other attendees were giving them a wide berth, and only other dancers stood a chance of getting anywhere near close to them. Lupin looked back to the smirking pretty boy. This idiot was good enough for the task.

“Fine,” Lupin said, taking his hand, “but I’ll have you know my standards are high.”

“You’re in luck then, gorgeous,” the guy purred and pulled Lupin in close, “because I’m the best guy here.”

Lupin was limber on his feet, and even in the low heels he was in, the tug didn’t throw him off balance. Lupin knew a move when he saw it; the little jerk was running a pretty basic play. He’d used it dozens of times, even successfully on Fujiko, once. Pull them in tight, and get a full bounty of breasts pressed against your chest. Stellar, highly recommended. But not for this fool.

Lupin caught the sound of a familiar laugh, Stone and Zenigata were...were they rubbing noses?! This guy was really stepping on the accelerator! Stone thought he could make it look all cutesy and playful, but you can’t do that to Pops, something like that could make his ticker explode-

The jerk followed Lupin’s gaze, to the incredibly obvious and showy pair. “Is that guy your ex or something?”

Lupin scoffed. “He wishes.”

“Hmmm.”

The jerk couldn’t have packed more sarcasm into that hum if he’d tried, earning himself one of Lupin’s more venomous looks. Still, the jerk didn’t falter, and returned fire with something more inviting. His rich brown eyes were Lupin’s type, and it was a shame he’d come on so strongly, and while Lupin was working. They’d look great looking up at him from a tangle of bedsheets. 

Something must have shown on Lupin’s face, since the pretty-boy gave that smug smile again. 

“Come on honey, if you want to make him jealous, we should dance a bit closer.” 

The jerk swept a hand to the back of Lupin’s dress, resting on the small of his back, trying to guide him across the floor, closer to Zenigata and Stone. Lupin was a fairly well practiced dancer and improviser, he kept in step with the movements.

Zenigata, too innocent for his own good, had nonetheless finally realized what was really going on between him and Stone. The inspector’s face was crimson, and the thinner man’s hips were pressed unprofessionally close.

“How’s he THAT easy???” Lupin muttered to himself. “I could probably drive that stupid car right past him and he wouldn’t notice it missing!”

“He’s not even looking at you.”

The jerk seemed to be holding back a laugh. He probably thought Lupin was some love-lorn admirer of Stone’s, and the urge to clear up the misunderstanding was only abated by the truth being somehow worse.

“Good. Fuck him.” 

Lupin scoffed, another bit of the uncouth thief slipping out from between his cherry-red lips. He turned his nose up, remembering his mission.

That was right! Why the hell should this be a problem? Zenigata was making his own distraction! Lupin should be thanking that oily trust fund leech, for generously providing both car and easy getaway. Hell, the idiot deserved a thank-you note for being such a thoughtful mark.

“So, now that I’m in on your plan to make him jealous, I think I should at least have earned your name.” The jerk’s soft cheek slid close enough to Lupin’s face to share warmth. “We’re co-conspirators now.” 

“Mary.” Lupin replied, and then, after the moment’s pause of being dipped backwards, “Don’t you know the guy is supposed to introduce himself first?”

“I’m not old fashioned like that,” The jerk flashed a brilliant smile, “but I’ll tell you if you ask nicely.”

Lupin’s attention returned to his dance partner, a brief catch-up to reappraise the situation. Lupin’s lean arms had moved from the man’s shoulders to rest behind his neck, and Lupin could feel the crisp suit through his own thin dress. It was hard to notice an absence, but he picked up on it now. There was neither the pull nor a drag of a mismatched pair of dancers, and the pretty boy’s dance cues were subtle and intuitive. He was incredibly easy to follow. The guy did really have more moves that Lupin would have guessed.

Lupin laced his fingers behind the nape of the pretty boy’s neck. They were getting closer to Zenigata, and Lupin was beginning to feel a bit more generous.

“Okay, tell me.”

The pretty boy tilted his mouth toward Lupin’s ear, brushing it with admittedly soft lips. “Billy.”

The name somewhat ruined the mood. “That sounds like a kindergartner’s name. Extremely unsexy.”

“I didn’t pick it for sex appeal.”

Lupin was indignant, “Why else would you pick a name, if not for sex appeal?!”

“What’s so sexy about Mary then? Is it your little lamb?” 

“It’s the perfect combination of evoking soft and vulnerable with sexy. You know, gentle! It’s very sexy.” 

“It certainly is,” Billy murmured, grin returning.

The hand on the small of Lupin’s back hadn’t budged yet, but Lupin’s instincts told him that Mister Kindergarten name was preparing to do something very not-G-rated.

The up tempo song finally ended and the two slowed to match the new tempo. He looked over his shoulder at Zenigata. The slower song had given the big lug some confidence. He had taken lead on a gentle close dance, face plastered with that bashful smile, as if someone had just complimented him. Stone probably had, probably fed him some line about being a “terrific dancer,” as though Zenigata’s wild, oafish steps were anything but making a complete spectacle of them both.

Billy took a deft step, and in one elegant swing, shifted them close enough to hear snippets of Zenigata’s conversation. He also chose that moment to move his hand lower. 

Congratulations, Billy. Lupin rolled his eyes and focused on Zenigata.

Stone’s cloying voice simpered, “Your hands are so strong...”

Goosebumps of revulsion broke out on Lupin’s neck and the expression probably reflected on his face, because Billy’s hand promptly retreated upwards to Lupin’s back again.

The Stone leaned his head against Zenigata’s broad shoulders, and who had given him the right to do that?! Zenigata was here on the Lupin case. Zenigata’s time belonged to Lupin. Zenigata could carouse during his time off! 

Zenigata had been leading Stone traditionally, one modest hand on his back, the other gripping Stone’s. But slowly, as though worried he might break him, Zenigata pulled his host into an embrace.

Zenigata’s official record put him just under six feet, an error made all the more baffling as Lupin looked up at what felt like seven feet of gentle giant, shyly staring down at someone else, tentatively stuttering out, “How’s that?”

Lupin didn’t hear Stone’s reply. It was too soft, something only for Zenigata’s ears, lost in the noise of the room and the music. But he saw the smile they exchanged.

“You’ve really got it bad for that guy, huh?”

Billy laughed, and rolled his neck. Lupin’s grip had gotten very tight, and he relaxed it, trying to reassume his ladylike poise as quickly as possible. 

“No!” Lupin howled, a touch too loudly for the quiet atmosphere. “He has it bad for ME. He’s crazy about me. Real crazy. He’s practically a stalker! If he’d been doing his job and keeping an eye out, if he saw me? He wouldn’t leave me alone for a second!”

Billy sounded skeptical, a mocking confirmation. “Mm hmm.” 

“He would. Watch.”

Lupin slipped away from Billy and approached Stone, tapping him on the shoulder. Stone hopped to attention, turning around, pink-faced, caught in the act. But he wore the smile of a man who knew little consequence for anything. Lupin was looking forward to giving the guy a lesson where you don’t get your way by being the richest.

“Excuse me? Sir? I need to talk to the inspector. He said to come find him if we saw anything suspicious...?”

Zenigata’s shame was much more palpable, looking like he had just been walked in on by a disapproving parent. His mood and posture shift was so abrupt, and he saluted with all the force of a trebuchet arm, smacking his forehead so hard, it would have knocked his hat off.

“Yes ma’am! What did you see?”

Zenigata tried to give Lupin his professional face but it was still flushed with embarrassment. And one of his hands was still on Stone’s shoulder.

Lupin found it easy to fake a pout. “Inspector? Can we please talk further away from the speakers?”

Zenigata nodded, but instead of walking directly away with Lupin, first turned and gave Stone an apologetic look. Lupin’s blood was already boiling, but when Stone responded with a gentle, “I’ll steal another dance from you later, okay?”

Lupin found himself hitting his limit. Zenigata might as well have stepped over to Lupin and stomped all over his toes. ANOTHER dance? What was next? A little post-dancing hanky-panky? Dinner? Cruddy little coffee dates, airily laughing and sighing and reminiscing over the days when Zenigata’s priorities were so out of whack that he chased some handsome thief around and around the world, and thank goodness Zenigata had chosen to give up all that mess after one magical night with some rich asshole who was so much more exciting than Lupin the Third!?

Zenigata and Lupin headed to the outskirts of the party, and though Zenigata’s expression was more businesslike, there was still a wisp of a smile lurking at the corners.  
“What do you have to report, Miss?”

Lupin opened his mouth to deliver a flirty, coy bit of teasing, but he was fuming, what ebbed out was pure spite. “Real satisfied with the evening, aren’t you?”

Zenigata’s eyebrows shot straight up to his hairline, smile gone.

“I didn’t know it was the habit of the ICPO to swirl around, dancing, while an infamous criminal is hiding among us!”

The shame crept back into Zenigata’s eyes, and they darted away from Lupin’s scowl. “Sorry, Miss. It’s just that I’m pretty much always on duty, and what’s the harm in one little dance?”

Lupin gaped. Zenigata should have curled up into a little ball of mortification upon getting called out. But here he was, defending himself?!

“What about Lupin?”

Zenigata’s eyes peered up for just a second, before looking away. “Eh?”

“What about-”

ME?!

“-Lupin?! He could be anywhere! Don’t you CARE?!”

“Well, begging your pardon, Miss, but you don’t know Lupin like I do, and I don’t really need to be scouring high and low tonight. Y’see, based on prior behavior and the location of his target he-”

“Don’t NEED TO?! Did you forget you’re MY inspector?”

Zenigata’s wandering eyes snapped to Lupin’s, and his pupils constricted to pinpricks.

“I said you’re mine.”

Zenigata noticed the shape of his nose, the curve of his ears, the shine of his eyes. His hands were past his lapels in an instant, reaching for the cuffs crammed into the suit jacket. His draw was lightning, but still, Lupin was faster. Lupin’s fingers snatched up those pressed lapels and yanked them toward him, white knuckled, all sense of ladylike modesty gone. Zenigata had begun to yell, but only made it as far as “Lu-”, Lupin making use of the second syllable’s pucker to wrest a kiss out of the wayward, lax officer.

Zenigata shut his eyes into the kiss, and Lupin found himself following suit. He pressed himself tight against Zenigata, and there were hands around his shoulders, as Zenigata’s mind forgot to seize Lupin, and his body remembered to seize its chance. The tight grip washed away Lupin’s thoughts of mealy, skin-crawling flirtations, and set everything right.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that time would be starting up again soon, that this was not the grand reveal he’d planned, but screw it, Zenigata felt so good in this suit. Lupin could feel a heart beating like crazy, and that had to be Pops, remembering the rush, succumbing to the excitement of Lupin’s presence. Nobody else could get him going like that, nobody except maybe-

A motor roared to life, and both Lupin and Zenigata looked up.

The car at the center of the ballroom was moving, Billy in the front seat. He rolled down the window and waved to Lupin.

Zenigata’s attention turned off of the car first, grabbing Lupin by the shoulders and shaking him. “Lupin!!” 

Stone shouted, and scrambled to grab ahold of the car’s spoiler. “Inspector! My car!” 

Lupin groaned. “MY car...”

Billy tossed aside a mask. In a dazzle of long hair, Fujiko blew a kiss, and stepped hard on the accelerator. The wheels tore away, and left Stone tumbling to the floor.

“Thank you both for the distraction! Bye now!”

Lupin put a hand to his forehead, recontextualizing his dance with “Billy.”

Those eyes. Fujiko’s eyes.

Those moves, too sexy to resist, even when paired with a scumbag personality for cover. 

Fujiko, one of the only people who could keep up with his dancing.

How did he miss it?!

Zenigata lifted him from the ground in a firm grasp, and Lupin snapped back to reality.

They both grinned at each other.

“Look, Pops, if you want to see up my dress, there are much easier ways.”

Lupin shook his hips, intending to slide out of both his dress, and the inspector’s grip. Zenigata scrambled, managing to catch him halfway, and half-dressed, at that. Zenigata’s hands gave one more tight squeeze, and both men turned to look.

Ol Pops was the second person of the night to get a firm, tight handful of Lupin’s firm, tight ass.

There was a strangled cry, and Lupin realized that it wasn’t coming from Zenigata. Stone was sitting in the middle of the dance floor, looking from the empty podium, to Zenigata in the corner, feeling up a half-dressed lady.

Lupin winked at the broken-hearted man, then looked back, satisfied, to Zenigata’s reddened face. This escape was going to be a messy one, and Pops was gonna be extra mad.

Just as it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to my wife for the excellent additions to this fic and to Bones for her absolutely delicious ideas.


End file.
